If you are a seasoned Christian, there will undoubtedly be times where you will have influence over people who are new to the faith. You may be a Bible Study teacher, accountability partner or even mentor. If you do your job right, you should experience a day where your student will not only meet but exceed your knowledge. Before you know it, they will be coming to YOU with things they have learned and discovered.
This is what we are called to do. The goal is not to teach or lead someone to always stay just under our abilities, but to soar beyond us. We are building future leaders. We should be encouraging them, and listening to what they share with us.
Yet, we can easily allow pride to get in the way. And, I am not talking about pride in our student. I’m talking about that moment when our student corrects or has insight that counters our own interpretation. It is a defining moment where we turn our student into our enemy, instead of rejoicing in their growth.
“Who does she think she is correcting ME?”
“I’ve been a Christian my whole life, how dare he think I don’t know what I am talking about?”
These are just some of the thoughts that can come across our minds, when pride gets in the way.
One day, a friend was venting to me about her husband. She was a woman who had always supported wives in a submissive role. In many ways she helped me to get a better understanding of what godly submission looks like in a marriage. In this moment, she was not being submissive to him. She was very upset, she wanted her way, she wanted me to tell her she was right, and frankly she was being a very disagreeable wife. Because of what I learned from her, I responded that I could understand where they were both coming from, but that she needed to quietly submit to him on the issue.
“I don’t need you to tell me how to be submissive.” End of conversation.
Ouch. Here I was reflecting back on her the very thing she taught me, and I was admonished for it.
Granted, it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear in the moment. But, it was what she needed to hear. She was allowing her anger to cloud her view of not only the situation but her husband.
She didn’t talk to me for quite a while after that.
In another situation I found myself in, I had been deeply studying scripture as part of one of my seminary classes. Someone I had considered more learned than me during my earlier walk, had shared an interpretation of scripture that was wrong. When I attempted to guide her toward the correct meaning (I wanted her to discover it for herself), it got argumentative. I had to then be blunt and explain that her exegesis of the scripture was incorrect.
It bothered me the entire day, because I wasn’t doing anything wrong…. but she was upset that I had corrected her.
Teachers who are prideful can often put themselves above correction. They are teachers who become unteachable themselves. They can’t handle when their student surpasses them, and especially can’t handle being corrected by their student. It is impossible for them to accept that they may be wrong. What is worse, their pride turns their student into an enemy. They will see this correction as an attack, and go on the defensive.
In reality, they should be PROUD!
When my children teach me something new, because they learn something in school I was never taught… I AM THRILLED. We discuss it, so that I too can understand this fantastic new fact or theory. It’s a reciprocal relationship of investing in each other. I have invested my time and energy in to teaching them MANY things, and that they would want to teach me something new is their return on that investment.
When the student becomes the teacher, it is a blessing.
1) It means we did our job, we taught them well and set them on the right course to continue learning.
2) It means that they recognized our investment in them, and they wish to repay us by teaching us the new things they have learned. We deposited in their bank of knowledge and now they are depositing in our bank.
3) It means that they are no longer our student, but a peer. They become a resource for us to pull from as we continue to teach new students.
Our goal, when we are teaching the Word to ANYONE should be to help them go further than we ever could with our faith. It is setting into motion ripples that will reach far beyond our own spot in the pond.
Their success, is our success. Their fruit, is our fruit.
If we allow pride to get the better of us, and we react in harsh ways to their new found knowledge… it can be damaging.
The relationship will be damaged. Their confidence will be damaged. The progress of their calling will be damaged.
When your student corrects you, it is a good thing. If they are right, and there is nothing wrong with verifying the accuracy of their information. We SHOULD check, that’s being a good Berean. You can acknowledge the new information, let them know that you are going to look into it further, and make sure to follow up the conversation. Did you come to agree with them, are you uncertain if they are right or not, do you have suggestions of someone else to include in the conversation to bring clarity, or did you find out their information is wrong? Share it with them, have dialogue… but keep it healthy.
Check your motives, it shouldn’t be to “prove wrong” but to seek the truth.