My husband and I were talking the other day, about friendships and just relationships in general. Sometimes we mess up, we say things we shouldn’t have even though we were joking. Or, we speak into a person’s life when we have no authority to do so…. or at least were not invited to share our opinions. Sometimes the person is carrying emotional baggage and is extra sensitive & you were unintentionally careless with your words.
In situations like this, my husband and I can recognize we messed up. We even try to fix it and make it better. But, unless the other person is just as invested in the relationship… it’s going to be a one sided battle. And no matter what you do, how many times you apologize, how many different ways to try to repair it… you can’t fix it alone. It won’t matter if you saw it coming and tried to be proactive, or if the damage is done and you are trying to repair… you can’t force the other person to value the friendship like you did. Repair and reconciliation must be something both people want and are willing to work toward.
And, if the other person doesn’t want it…. you have to be able to let it go and move on with your life. You learn from it, grow from it, and become (hopefully) a better person from that experience.
Romans 12:18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Only God can soften someone’s heart, once they have hardened it. Only the Holy Spirit can move them and convict them into the path of reconciliation. But through Jesus, we can pray for that person. Because of Jesus, we can extend copious amounts of forgiveness and grace…. and ask for the same in return. We can confess our wrongs to Jesus, and seek His forgiveness, even when others have become unforgiving.
And we can have hope that reconciliation with our brothers and sisters in Christ will happen, it just may not happen on this earth. But, we will be reconciled in Heaven as a body of believers. And then, as we are celebrating together, whatever it is was that separated us will be like grains of sand at the bottom of the deepest ocean.