For the Love of Peace
If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18 (HCSB)
The pressures of life are surmounting. The pressures on women are driving us to anxiety and depression. Once upon a time, the only expectations upon us were to be image bearers, good wives, good mothers, good stewards, and good students of the word. Over the course of history, to modern day, those expectations grew.
A perfect home.
The perfect wife.
Then we added to those pressures as women entered the work force. Now not only did we have to be perfect in every way at home, but also at work. As more women entered the work force, the expectations upon them grew to become a super woman.
Then, there was a shift. Women began staying home with their children again. However, this added to the pressures of the perfect home life because she no longer had to balance outside work and housework. We thrust upon her the notion that children’s birthday parties had to be grand, we needed to scrapbook every day of our children’s lives, and that we had to not only be the super mom… but also the super wife. Proverbs 31 Woman became a piece of scripture that women were clinging to in order to become the super Christian woman, as well.
The pressure was mounting.
And then, it happened… social media exploded and took women along for the ride.
We had Pinterest to help us make the perfect meals, hand craft decorations for our homes, and upping the children’s birthday party to epic levels.
Facebook tossed in our faces, daily, the women who were winning at life. Working out every day to maintain her perfect body. Her perfect weekend crafting with her kids. Date night, once a week, with her perfect husband. The flowers he sends her, the gifts he gives her, the attention he showers her with.
Instagram became a revealing window to how much fun others were having, without us. We saw their “girls weekend getaway” that we were not invited to. We commented on the fifty hand made invitations for her Women’s Ministry luncheon. We loved her outfit of the day photo, while we sat in the jeans we bought six years ago that are holding on by threads.
The pressure kept growing… and growing….
Before we could even realize it was happening, the green eyed monster of envy was rearing it’s ugly head. To see it, we just had to look in the mirror.
We were jealous of her doting husband.
We felt left out of the fun.
We didn’t think we could compete with her talent.
We were no longer content with our homes, or their decor.
We lamented over our lack of funds to go on vacations or buy new clothes.
We began to hate our own bodies.
We became jealous over the opportunities their children have.
And that is when it happened, the pressure became too much.. and we blew up.
On the inside.
When these things happen, when the pressure grows to the point where we are going to blow… someone is inevitably going to get caught in the wake of the explosion.
We will hate our selves, for the areas we failed.
We will hate our families, for what they are not.
We will hate others, for what they have … and we don’t.
Jealousy will poison our souls to the point that it will destroy us from the inside out, if we don’t spiritually check ourselves.
When these pressures surmount like this, we have only two ways to respond after we blow our tops.
- We pull up our big girl panties, set our minds right, and find peace with the blessings that God has given us.
—- OR —-
2. We begin to elevate ourselves, by tearing down others.
There are so many scriptures that point us toward peaceful living. Blessed are the peacemakers (Matt 5:9), Seek and Pursue Peace (Psalm 34:14), There is Future for those in Peace (Psalm 34:34), Live at Peace with Others (Romans 12:18)… these are just a few. God wants us to be at PEACE in our lives, not fear… not anxiousness… not jealousy or discontent. God wants us to LOVE in our lives, not hate… not condemn… not hurt or divide. In fact, God’s word says that we will be KNOWN BY OUR LOVE (John 13:35). When we LOVE, we not only have peace in our own lives, but we GIVE PEACE TO OTHERS.
God wants us to live in peace, and yet more often than not… we go the other route.
Whether it is rooted in jealousy or a lack of confidence in ourselves (and our decisions or abilities), we begin to lash out. It starts with the thoughts in our heads, begins to fall out of our mouths in our words, and then eventually felt in our actions and deeds.
We create competition, where there is none. We become critical of their decisions and opportunities, instead of embracing our own unique blessings. We try and bring others to our side, by gossiping about the person. We try and force our opinions on others, not because we desire to see change in them for the better, but really to affirm that we are right. Our thoughts become so self centered, that we can no longer see that person(s) in a positive light. If we are not careful, it can begin to consume us.
If we are not at peace, we are at war… within our own heart and mind. War is messy, and it has many casualties. It will cost you happiness, contentment, and relationships.
And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7 (HCSB)
Do not be conformed to this world, choose to live in peace. Be known for your love.
“Let’s lay down our junk, our wonky junk that messes up relationships and community and togetherness. We won’t let our own crazy stop us from affirming each other and banging the drum for our sisters.” – Jen Hatmaker, For the Love
Learn more about Jen Hatmaker’s new book “For the Love” at: http://forthelovebook.com/