There Are Some Things You Simply Can’t Fix

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My husband and I were talking the other day, about friendships and just relationships in general.  Sometimes we mess up, we say things we shouldn’t have even though we were joking.  Or, we speak into a person’s life when we have no authority to do so…. or at least were not invited to share our opinions.  Sometimes the person is carrying emotional baggage and is extra sensitive & you were unintentionally careless with your words.

In situations like this, my husband and I can recognize we messed up.  We even try to fix it and make it better.   But, unless the other person is just as invested in the relationship… it’s going to be a one sided battle.  And no matter what you do, how many times you apologize, how many different ways to try to repair it… you can’t fix it alone.  It won’t matter if you saw it coming and tried to be proactive, or if the damage is done and you are trying to repair… you can’t force the other person to value the friendship like you did.  Repair and reconciliation must be something both people want and are willing to work toward.

And, if the other person doesn’t want it…. you have to be able to let it go and move on with your life.   You learn from it, grow from it, and become (hopefully) a better person from that experience.

Romans 12:18 – If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Only God can soften someone’s heart, once they have hardened it.  Only the Holy Spirit can move them and convict them into the path of reconciliation.  But through Jesus, we can pray for that person.  Because of Jesus, we can extend copious amounts of forgiveness and grace…. and ask for the same in return.  We can confess our wrongs to Jesus, and seek His forgiveness, even when others have become unforgiving.

And we can have hope that reconciliation with our brothers and sisters in Christ will happen, it just may not happen on this earth.  But, we will be reconciled in Heaven as a body of believers.  And then, as we are celebrating together, whatever it is was that separated us will be like grains of sand at the bottom of the deepest ocean.

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16 YEARS …

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I spent 16 years in a row, going to school.  Kindergarten through some  College.  Then I took a break.

16 years went by…. SO SLOWLY.  I needed a break from school.

 

I remember my 16th wedding anniversary, and asking myself… “Wow, has it really been 16 years?”.

16 years went by…. I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE.   Because my marriage had become natural, like breathing.

 

Today, is my eldest daughters 16th Birthday.  I’m a hot mess.

16 years went by…. SO FAST.   I can’t slow them down.  I can’t help but wonder if she’s really prepared.

 

In the scope of time, based on the circumstances we face…. 365 days seems to adjust it’s speed.   Time isn’t constant, in the heart.

On my daughter’s 16th birthday, I would encourage any parent… who is like me to sit down and really think about what it is you want your children to know by the time they turn 18.  That age when they go off to college, head off to boot camp, venture out backpacking across Europe, or even say “I DO”….

Then make a plan to teach them.  And, if they are old enough, ask them to contribute to the list.  Is there anything they want to know/learn, that you haven’t taught them.  You may be surprised.

And if you haven’t yet, intentionally begin to surround your kids with godly women or men… ones who are a few years ahead of the game, and a couple even further…. they will need these people to help stay the course.