Since I was a small child, I have been a bit of a boss. Some would say it is my Irish heritage, others would say that I am like my grandmother. The fact of the matter is, I can be bossy. Really bossy. A fact I have spent years trying to correct. Couple my inherent bossiness with my need for justice, and I am a force to be reckoned with. A great example of this, will take us on a journey to about 10 years ago.
I was working in direct sales & I was doing really well in the company, leader over my entire state. I also and had a very good relationship with the owner of the company. We were getting ready for a large training event, and I sincerely disagreed with a decision the owner had made. I confronted the owner about it. I continued the disagreement with her over the issue to the point we had to have mediation through a neutral third party.
It was during a women’s conference, about a year later, that in a single moment truth hit me. Who was I? Who was I to think I could tell this woman how to run her company? Right or wrong, this was not MY company. I had no right to expect her to bend to my demands. I came home and immediately drafted a letter of apology to her. It had nothing to do with my feelings about the decision, but everything to do with me taking accountability for my actions. She graciously accepted my apology & our relationship began to heal over time.
Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
In my situation, I certainly felt I was right. Sometimes though it is not about being right, it is about being wise. I made poor decisions on confronting the owner, poor decisions on how to react to her stance & in the end poor decisions on my part on how to proceed further. The deeper I allowed myself to get into the argument, I became angry & I gave full vent to that anger. I made it personal, I elevated the situation and ultimately I brought us to the point of mediation. If I were wiser at that time, I would have tempered myself and my tongue.
Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Once I was able to realize my error, I was able to make amends. But, what was a strong relationship was going to take time to heal. It was a hard lesson to learn, but once you learn such a lesson you strive to not repeat the same mistake again.
God wants us to approach situations with wisdom and not foolishness.
Two women were before King Solomon, each claiming a child as their own. Solomon ordered the child to be cut in half, then each woman would be given half of the child. The true mother could have continued to argue that the child was hers. She would have been right, but her decision would have cost the life of her son. Instead, she opted to make a wise decision. She told Solomon to spare his life and give him to the other woman. It was through this wise decision on her part, that Solomon knew who the real mother was. The woman who put aside being right, and instead spared the life of the child. (A Wise Ruling 1 Kings 3:16-28)
Can you think of a time where your quest to be right, cost you more than you would have gained?
How can you rectify this past occurrence, or prevent it from happening again?
Heavenly Father, I ask you today to guide my words. Guide me to fight the good fight and to turn the other cheek. Help me to discern between being wise and being right. Let me find peace in times of strife & help me to find the path to restoration in relationships my decisions may have damaged. Through you I can forgive and be forgiven. Amen.
*Written for the TC3 Women’s Ministry Devotion Blog