If you know me well, then you know where I stand on the subject of abortion. I have always considered it a non-option, the baby is a life, and ending a pregnancy is ending that life.
You will also know that I don’t take this subject lightly, or to hyperbole. I recognize that for most women who walk into an abortion clinic… this wasn’t an easy choice.
I don’t know what the circumstances were that led to their pregnancy.
Nor am I aware of the circumstances that led them to believe this was the best choice.
I am keenly aware that for many people the “best choice” is not one they are necessarily happy with.
I have made a point that I will never shame a person who has walked that road. I can only speak against the industry itself, the society that has led many to believe that this is not only ok… but in many cases their “only choice”. Society, even parents, have pressured teens to have an abortion in order to avoid shame. Some churches will scream against abortion, as they tear down the women who get pregnant out of wedlock. It leaves some thinking there is no other choice.
When I was in high school, I know of three particular girls who got pregnant. The first two were kicked out of their homes, one was kicked out of her church, and the third had an abortion. At the time, I understood the choice the third girl made… because I saw what happened to the other two girls.
Let’s face it, with our judgment and condemnation we have never made it easy for the unwed mother.
But, let me clue you into something… A BABY IS NEVER A SIN.
Yes, the act of having sex outside of marriage is not part of God’s plan, it is sin. The resulting baby, is not. It is a blessing. Until we can take the shame off of pregnancy, women will go to abortion clinics to avoid shaming themselves and their families.
Until we can take the shame off of pregnancy, babies will not be considered a blessing. Even those babies who were planned for, or the parents were excited about conceiving are shamed.
“You know how that happens, right?”
“Don’t you think two is enough?”
When we had our third daughter a family member actually said “She’s really pretty, but tell Gena she can stop now.”
Which brings me to “subjective value” and what taking an economics class taught me about abortion, and babies.
In economics the value of an item is based on how desired that item is. The more people who want a particular item, the higher it’s value… thus the higher it’s price.
The interesting thing about that value is that it is totally subjective, and we don’t even need to be able to explain WHY we value one item over another.
I’ve always found it interesting that the value of a baby, among society as a whole, is not based on the baby’s actual value at all. Few are looking at the intrinsic value, or long term value of what that child will bring to the world. Instead the value of a baby is totally subjective.
It is why we can say, “sorry you lost your baby” when someone has a miscarriage. However, call it a “lump of cells” when the baby is aborted. The difference is value. The “baby” was wanted by parents. The “lump of cells” was not.
You would never hear ANY person (no matter their abortion beliefs) tell a grieving mother… “sorry you lost your lump of cells”. NO! Because, despite their personal beliefs… they know this woman WANTED this baby, and she is grieved over losing it.
You can have a baby of the exact same gestational age… but if a mom delivers the baby at home, and discards it in a trash can… she is a monster. However, if that very same morning she went to an abortion clinic, we talk of her rights.
Value is subjective to the person making the decision. What is more important to the person, this baby or whatever motivated them to consider abortion?
Not every abortion is “selfish” in the sense that they are doing it for their own gain. Many women look at the world they would bring that child into and see it is as unsuitable. We have failed to fully educate on the options available other than abortion, as a whole, in many communities. More so, we have failed to remove the shame and stigma on the unwed mothers. Even more importantly, we have failed to shape people’s idea of children to a place where their “subjective value” of life is one to be protected at all cost.
If we want stop abortion, we need to affect the subjective value of babies. Society needs to not only stop shaming the unwed mother, but also needs to change it’s opinions of children. When we value and celebrate every child, we value and celebrate every baby. When we value and celebrate every baby, we will make abortion moot.
Women need to know that it is ok to put their career on hold, to stay home… without being condemned by their contemporaries.
Women need to know that it is ok to have a career and be a mother… without being judged by those who choose to stay home.
We need to make sure that as we are discussing abstinence, that we are also not just pushing against abortion… we also discuss the beauty the gift of adoption can be.
Parents should make sure that our children know that we may disappointed by their choices, but we are not disappointed in them. Our disappointment should never cause shame that results in an abortion.
Society should stand behind the single women who have chosen life, and the church should be doing whatever we can to help them succeed.