#Write31Days – Post 3 – Tackling the Taboo

25questions5For too long we have avoided really talking about sex in the church.  And, I’m not talking about the youth group.  I am talking about a Sunday morning sermon (or series) that really dives into the topic.  It’s taboo. 

Some churches may find it to be inappropriate to talk about.  Or, that the people in their church do not need to address the subject.  They may even feel like it isn’t that big of a problem in the first place to spend time on the question.

Then we wonder why we have more people (not just teens) having sex without marriage.  We stand firm and address the topic of abortion, without ever addressing the subject that brings a person to the abortion clinic in the first place.  Sex.

In a time when we have children growing up in single parent homes…

In a time when films and television have stopped implying and now show sex scenes…

When songs on the radio have explicit lyrics and music videos are graphic…

When you can’t even pass through the check out line at the grocery store without knowing about other people’s sex lives…

In a time when we have immediate access to any type of pornography, at the click of a button…

IS IT NO WONDER THAT OUR COMMUNITY IS CONFUSED!

As a child of divorce, my mother has been single the majority of my life.  My grand parents were separated.  I literally had no example of what a solid Christian Marriage looked like.  I had no concept of what a healthy sex life looked like in the confines of that marriage.  It’s something that has had a direct impact on my own marriage.  I am navigating unfamiliar waters.  What I learned about marriage, was what I saw on TV from the old generation shows like Leave it to Beaver and The Cosby Show.  Ask yourself, for kids today… what do the TV shows and movies they watch tell them about the reality of a healthy sex life in the confines of marriage?   Because, I can assure you if they are not seeing it modeled in their home… movies and TV become their reference material.

In addition we spend so much time telling teens not to, shaming sex before marriage… that when they enter into marriage they have no clue what is permissible within their marriage.  We have presented a polarization of sex to our kids and young adults that is hard to navigate.  There is so much sexual dysfunction in our world, and in the church, that we don’t know where to even begin.  If our Pastors are not answering the questions, we turn to ….  ?

Authentic Intimacy  is a ministry that has answered the call.  With their previous publication they have stepped right into the ring with the subject others are trying avoid.  This week their newest book, 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask, releases and I’ve had the opportunity to get a sneak peak.

To book covers questions like:

Can I Be Single and Sexual?

Is It Wrong to Like Sex?

Why do Guys Care So Much About Sex?

How Do I Get Past My Shame?

It also addresses porn, masturbation, homosexuality, trust after betrayal, and so much more.  These are the questions that Dr. Juli Slattery gets asked the most often by women all over the world.  They are questions we all have or have had.

For those of us who are parents, this gives an insight into the questions that are rolling around the minds of our teens and young adults.  Questions they may be afraid to ask us, or we may be afaid to bring up.

With so much sexual dysfunction in the world, we can’t ignore the topic anymore.  We need to break down the walls, stop avoiding the subject, and really dig into what healthy sexuality is from a biblical perspective.

Today, author Dr. Juli’s podcast Java with Juli  has a great introduction to the what and why behind the book, and some other incentives you will not want to miss out on, just click the link below:

25 Questions Book with Dr. Juli Slattery

Authentic Intimacy will also be in Port Saint Lucie Florida, January 30th for a special one day conference!   Just click on the photo for more information!!!

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From Challies.com – My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men

I am a voracious reader, I read pretty much all day long.  There are times I come across things worth sharing.  I will usually run to twitter, instagram, or my facebook page to share those articles.  However, occasionally, there are things that are too important, too poignant, too relevant, and too close to the words flowing through my own heart and mind.  Those, I share here.  When you read this article, please share it.  It speaks to the heart of many women and families, and the struggle they go through.  It speaks hard truths, that I know many echo in their hearts right now.

Share my link, the link to the original article… share it any way you wish.  Just share it.

Share it with the women you know, and the men.

Share it with the leaders of the home, and the church.

Share it with those who are married, and those who hope to be one day.

Share it with your daughters and sons, as their age deems appropriate.

Click on the Photo, or HERE to read the full article:

 challies

To continue reading, click here!

When Scandal Rocks the Christian Community

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It’s been a rough few months in the Christian community.

It is hard, as a believer, when we see our public figures fail.  It may be the Pastor who admitted to an affair, or the revelation of a tv family’s son history of molestation… but the biggest catapult has been the Ashley Madison website hack, and leak.

Well known Christian pastors,  Christian celebrities, and Christian bloggers are being exposed for their involvement with the sight.

I read an article today, where one Christian professional is anticipating that over the next few weeks, we may see over 400 Pastors and leaders resigning from their positions.

And, I am at a loss.

I have never held leaders up to a standard of perfection, and I am not issuing them a pass at all.

But, I want to address something else….

How was their name found and made public?  Did these Pastors and leaders come right to their spouse and church leadership and confess the minute they found out about the leak?  Did someone hunt their name out and expose them?

Yes, every sin will be exposed… and I am not saying it shouldn’t be.  I am not suggesting there shouldn’t be accountability for their choices.

However, I am a bit broken at the thought that people were going through the Ashely Madison lists looking for names they recognized.  Looking for names of people they could rat out, of lives that they could destroy.

I know that there are some folks who have an agenda against the church, that may have been looking for the big names in the Christian world.  I’m less surprised about that, because we know that is sort of the norm when you step out in the public as a Christian.

But… what really bothers me… the idea that one or more members from any given church, may have been looking up the names of the men in their church and their church leadership.

I don’t begrudge a wife looking up the name of her husband.  But, in my opinion, that is the extent of where our curiosity should extend.  Our own homes, our own families.  When I first saw the article and the link to check names/email addresses… it never once occurred to me to check for my Pastor or any of our staff members.

Yet, I know in my heart… for this many churches to be affected…. someone was.

In one of my seminary classes, we were warned that there would be people, who sit with us weekend after weekend … worshiping with us, praising with us, learning with us… who were just looking for the opportunity to stir up trouble.  This was not a warning to paranoia, but rather to just make sure we are aware it happens.

It was so hard for me to believe… but now, not so hard at all.