It has been a crazy busy first half of my year. I could have never expected how things would unfold in our lives. I didn’t see having two extra children for five months being part of our year. There was unexpected news for a friend that shocked me, news that I didn’t see coming. And quite a few other events that brought me to a place of introspection. We must cultivate what matters most to us.
When we had our bonus kids, there were a lot of expectations on us. Beyond getting them enrolled in school, there were numerous doctors appointments. It was like a single day didn’t pass where I had to do something for these children. I wiped my calendar clear of anything that was not essential, making myself available. One day, I looked at my monthly wall calendar and realized… 1) Almost half of my month was dedicated to their needs and 2) I was for more involved in their lives than my own actual children.
During this time, the amount of stress that was on our family was tangible. You could see it in our physical presence. Even my best friend could recognize it in how my voice presented on the phone. There was pressure on my marriage, my kids, etc. When the children left our home, I had an opportunity to seize my family in a new way. Twice in 2019, my husband and I took a weekend away… just the two of us. We haven’t done that since year one of marriage.
We put so much energy into our extra kids, that it made me really hyper aware of how amazing and independent my children are. So much aware, that I realized how much more time I want to spend with them. Our relationships with our spouses, and our children, are so important that we can’t take for granted that everyone is aware of this importance.
Instead we continue to cultivate what matters most. Yes, we have poured into these children over their whole lives, but just because my daughter is an adult now doesn’t mean that I stop cultivating our relationship. Although I have been with my husband for twenty one years, I need to continue to cultivate that relationship. Even more so as we continue to approach new phases our life… we know that empty nester season is lurking just around the corner.
Not only do I want to cultivate what matters most in my home life, but it is also impacting my view on my ministry life. If we can begin to cultivate what matters most in our ministry, we learn to prune away the things that are non essential, and focus on The Great Commission. We learn to worry less about the perfection of pinterest worthy events, and focus more on the relationships being built and fostered among our community.
As we all move into this second half of the year, some of us kicking and screaming: take a moment of introspection and determine what in your life matters to the most to you… and cultivate it. ❤