Change, Chaos, and Willingness

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This picture very much represents my daily life at the moment.  Feeling a bit out of sort, disheveled, walking around in a bit of a haze.

You see God can come in and turn your life completely upside down in a flash.

Not that long ago, we were a family of 5.  Now, at least for an undetermined season, we are a family of 7.

I was out of town when my husband called to inform me that 2 children would be coming to our home.  It was 830pm.  By 10pm background checks were complete.  By midnight, our home was toured and photographed.  Each of us interviewed.  The pantry and refrigerator inspected.  At 2am, I walked through Walmart in a haze trying to find inflatable mattresses, bedding, pajamas for two children whose sizes were unknown, and toiletries.  4am another phone interview, and then our heads hit our pillows for a short two hour nap.  At 6am they arrived.  We welcomed them in, spoke with the case worker, and set them to bed.

After a few hours, we were wide awake and trying to get our bearings.  There were multiple trips to Walmart over the next 36 hours as we discovered what items were still needed.  We learned about what foods they liked to eat, and beverages they liked to drink.  Within the first week, we experienced our first over several melt downs.

A sassy, strong willed 7 year old girl.  A smart, polite 14 year old boy.

It is amazing how much 2 people being added to your home will change everything.  Your schedule changes, as you accommodate two more who need to shower and get ready in the mornings.  Your grocery shopping changes because you learn quickly that a 14 year old boy eats far more than you anticipated.  Every other day laundry becomes daily.

I thought I was doing ok, really.

Until I walked into church that Sunday morning for our women’s discipleship group.  One of the ladies who had not been clued into our sudden change in family asked me:

Is everything ok?  You don’t look ok.

Yikes.

Then another woman informed me that my zipper was down.

Nice.

I’ve watched my immediate and extended family rally around us.  I turned to my closest friends, who are praying for these children.  I praised God for answering the prayers I didn’t even know I needed to pray for.

We are often asked what is going to happen next, or how long the children will be with us.  We really don’t know.  We are taking each day as it comes, addressing each hurdle as it presents itself.  We are trusting the God who ordered creation to order our steps.  We are trusting in His plan, His love for us, His love for these children.  He is a good, good Father.

When someone learns of our choice to take the children in to our home, we are met with:

It takes a special person to do what you are doing.

We are not special.  Truly.  Just that very evening over dinner, the topic of fostering children came up.  I said, “I am not sure it is something I could do.”

But God.

Within hours of those words falling from my lips, the Lord was showing me that His ways are greater.  Your will, Lord.  Not my own.

We are not special.  We were just willing to answer the call.

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