Chronicling 40: Day 158 & 159

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It is the last day of 2017, and I am excited for 2018 holds.  I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, in some new areas, and that is a little scary.  But, I’ve chose the word “Fearless” for 2018.

So much of the scriptures tell us not to be afraid, and I don’t think many people who know me would consider me a person who is… afraid.   Truth be told, I’m not… generally speaking.

I’m not afraid of a challenge.

I’m not afraid to try something new.

I’m not afraid to speak to a stranger or a group of people.

I’m not afraid of change.

I’m terrified of being vulnerable.

I remember once, in college, having a class assignment where we had to bring something personal in to class.  This item needed to be something that we felt represented us as a person.  I chose a painting that I made in high school.  I liked it because it was unique, it represented how I viewed the world, and depending on how you turned the painting you could see something new.  I tried to explain that it represented me because I’m far more complex than people often realize, many facets to my personality and interests.   The more you get to know me, the more you can see those other sides.

I couldn’t get a word out about myself without crying.  I don’t really cry often, but it’s almost guaranteed to happen if I begin speaking about myself.

In 2018, I will begin showing my artwork publicly.  This is a big deal, and incredibly vulnerable.

To do this, I’m going to have to cling to being fearless.  Fearless is not the absence of fear, but stepping out courageously in spite of fear.  Fearing less because I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.  I don’t believe the Lord gifted me an artistic talent and eye to hide it in closets and shelves of my home.  Instead, it is a gift that can be used to honor Him.

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