I’m going to be honest here, this is a tough book. Tougher than I thought it would be. Someone else who read it equated it to peeling layers off an onion. Onions make me cry, and this book does too. It has caused me to face some things square in the face.
Sometimes, however, there will be people who slay you with their words. There is a reason that scripture refers to the tongue as dagger, and that words can be equated with murder. They stand over you, piercing you over and over again.
Then, there are those occasions where you replay those words said once, repeatedly to yourself. Opening old wounds, unable to heal.
Speaking for myself, I have a pretty high tolerance for such things. I understand we are all imperfect, say things we wish we could take back. I can extend quite a bit of grace. I try to extend the amount of grace that I would want to receive.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have my breaking point. When it reaches that level of hurt, when I know this is more than just someone making human mistakes… I cut the head from the snake. I can walk away completely in order to protect myself from further strikes. Yet those words still left wounds.
I’ve gone through some very rough seasons in my life, and in a spirit of transparency… I did let them define me. I know the negative words that I speak in my mind about myself were planted by others. Every mistake I make is the proof that those words were true, and all of my ambition is probably rooted in a desire to prove those words were wrong. Or, at least, no longer true. Rejection in my past has certainly caused suspicion in my present.
What I have personally found to be pivotal in the last two to three years is that through a series of people who God brought into my life, and the influence of certain authors (including Lysa TerKeurst)… I am reminded about who I am in HIM. My identity in HIM, the one who knitted me in my mother’s womb and knows the hairs on my head.
His love is not rooted in anything that I have done, but who GOD IS. His Word, which I call truth, tells me that despite my character flaws… I am beautifully and wonderfully made.
His Word tells me that I am adopted, chosen, into His family. The Scriptures describe me as valuable, worthy, wanted, loved, cared for, provided for, and known. If I believe His Words to be truth, then that means I must believe what God says about me. Rooting myself, growing from, and living in His love.
While that sounds beautiful, and IT IS… what does that mean about those relationship that hurt so much? What does it mean about the words that spin in my head causing self doubt and negative thoughts about myself? It means that not only do I have to see those wonderful beautiful scriptures as what God feels about me… but also about how He feels about others. It goes back to extending grace, to others and to myself.
The people who are in my life are just as imperfect as me, they have their own character flaws. I must have a willingness to see past their flaws, and in doing so they too can begin to see pass my flaws. These are the relationships that have potential, where our unity in the family of believers is important to us enough to push beyond problems and race toward reconciliation together.
Potential can only exist in fractured relationships when there is willingness from each side. New relationships have potential because they are untainted, but we have to make the intentional effort to not allow the words of our past to haunt us and influence imagined hurt or rejection where there is none.
A friend of mine has read Uninvited twice already, and she says each time the Lord reveals new things to her to work on. I have a feeling I still have a lot of work to do. Grateful for books like this that help pull back the curtain and expose the truths that are down deep.
Not only can you purchase the book Uninvited, but there is also a study with DVD. On the Uninvited Book website there are also online resources & bonus chapter you can access!