Fearless? Hardly.

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Several years ago, I purchased a potted hydrangea from Publix, it was right around Easter time.  They were so pretty, and not knowing anything about them, I planted them.  Apparently, these were supposed to be the flowers you gift someone and then enjoy for as long as the plant lives.  Apparently one shouldn’t be able to grow hydrangeas in my area.  And, apparently, one shouldn’t expect see them blooming into the summer.

I’m glad no one told my hydrangeas that, as I have had beautiful blooms every summer since I planted them.

You may wonder what would bring me to plant them in the first place, without even considering whether or not they would grow in our climate.  The truth is, they were going to die eventually sitting in a pot on my counter or patio.  Why not put them in the ground and see what happens?

This is sort of my lease on life:  Why not try it and see what happens?   While  some would call me brave and fearless, I would disagree.  I can let my anxiety get the best of me, I can worry myself awake all night long, and I can be terrified of trying new things.  However, I’ve never let fear stop me from trying something new, or making a bold move.  I would not classify myself as careless or reckless, either.  I’m not betting the family’s future on a whim.

I can say with certainty that over the years my ability to “just ask” or “give it a try” has paid off with dividends.  If I am afraid, then what would bring me to trying in the first place?

In those moments where I am taking a bold step, or giving something out of the box a try… I’m not putting trust in the myself, nor am I trusting that the world is working in my favor.  I don’t buy into luck or coincidence, and I pay a lot of attention to gut instinct.  In those moments, I am simply trusting God and His promises.  I’m saying to the Lord, I am surrendering this to you… make it work, or move me beyond it.

The dividend of those leaps of faith have not always paid off in the way I would have wanted.  However, there have always been lessons that I been able to glean from.  I’ve learned that the “worst thing that could happen” hasn’t exactly ruined my life.  I’ve also been blessed in ways that still blow my socks off.

The Bible tells us countless times “do not be afraid”, “do not fear”, “do not worry”, “do not be anxious”… because GOD has this under control.  When He calls me to move, I move.  When there is a thorn under my skin to do something bold, I don’t ignore it.    I listen for the nudging of the Holy Spirit, I look for affirmations, and I test those feelings to His word… but most importantly:

I trust Him.  I trust what His word says:

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

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